


my only reaction to you is the joy i found

by unprofessionalbard



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Getting Together, Mostly Canon Compliant, content warning for alcohol but it's not a plot point they just have wine, literally just some girlfriends becoming girlfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 16:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11406291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unprofessionalbard/pseuds/unprofessionalbard
Summary: Chloe can hear all of Sam's thoughts like fireworks and blooming flowers, and it feels like the sun is setting outside only to rise in her chest.





	my only reaction to you is the joy i found

Chloe doesn’t know for sure when it starts. She’s always cared about Sam, since right when they met. Maybe it’s then. 

Maybe it was their first time out for coffee. Chloe’s memory of it isn’t crystal clear— after all, it wasn’t the last time they went for coffee— but she remembers how Sam’s thoughts sounded in her head. Rushed, words half formed and thoughts cutting off mid way through. Chloe’s thoughts do that, but not like Sam’s. Sam’s have a panicked, anxious edge to them, when they get fast. 

Maybe it was wine night. Chloe knocking on her door, wine bottle in hand, Sam opening the door and saying she looks pretty, Chloe beaming and thanking her before Sam’s expression gave away that she hadn’t said it aloud at all.

It can’t have been after wine night. Chloe sometimes can’t place her own thoughts because of everyone else’s, but it was definitely around there, sometime. There was just so much going on, in the world and in Chloe’s head. 

They’re sitting on Sam’s couch, some TV show going in the background, volume low. Chloe is telling the story of her ex-girlfriend from her freshman year of college. Chloe is always animated, but the three glasses of wine in her make her more so. A lot of thoughts happen at once when Sam hears she had an ex-girlfriend. None of them are bad, but it does get a reaction. 

_She had a girlfriend oh good I haven’t told I mean it’s not a big deal of course it’s not don’t show a reaction shit she can read minds shut up I want to hear the story_

Chloe laughs, bringing her wine glass to her lips when the movement almost makes it spill on Sam’s couch. She gives a very exaggerated wink and doesn’t comment on Sam’s thoughts. Not until they drift, and Sam picks at her sleeve, thoughts debating about whether or not she wants to tell Chloe something, sentences always stopping before thinking about it. Chloe has a guess. 

“Sam?” 

Sam takes a sip of wine, raising her eyebrows at Chloe, then her face screws up as she remembers Chloe can read minds, so her internal debate has not slipped under the radar. 

“I’m bi.” She thinks it only a split second before she says it out loud, and Chloe doesn’t miss a beat. 

“Awesome.”

“I mean— it’s not really relevant, but I— well I’ve never told anyone– I mean I never had anyone to tell until, well, now I have a lot of people to tell, and you told me that you, and I just wanted, I mean it’s not a big—”

Chloe leans over and places a clumsy finger on Sam’s lips, laughing. 

“I know you’re freaking out. You don’t have to freak out. I mean it, that’s awesome.”

_Can you move your hand?_ thinks Sam, but Chloe can hear the laughter, and giggles when she moves back. Sam thinks she’s pretty again, and Chloe says thank you even though she knows Sam didn’t say it aloud.

Chloe asks about Mark. Sam doesn’t know. Even in her own head, she doesn’t know, and she doesn’t really bother lying to Chloe outright anyway. She takes another sip of wine. 

Chloe thinks she’s pretty too, but Sam doesn’t read minds, so she can’t say thank you. She might, if Chloe says it out loud. She has before. She’s complimented Sam plenty of times, it’s who she is, but never in the tone she thinks it in.

They fall asleep on Sam’s couch, Chloe leaning onto Sam’s shoulder, feet propped up on her coffee table. 

Maybe it doesn’t so much as start as trickle in, like water between rocks. Maybe it was always there and Chloe just doesn’t notice for awhile. 

They go out for lunch, and Sam’s nose scrunches up when she laughs. Her hair falls out of her ponytail sometimes and Chloe tucks it behind her hair. There’s a burst of thoughts about Chloe when she does that, but Chloe doubts Sam herself even knows what they all mean. 

They go out for dinner and Chloe almost knows. Almost lets her own thoughts in when Sam laughs, then at the last second everything gets mixed up with the couple two tables away and it’s not so different from what she’s thinking except after a few moments their mood sours because the waitress spots the rings and asks who their wives are and they aren’t happy but they don’t correct her she knows how much that sucks and then the group of friends behind them who are all thinking about different things but mostly a girl named Julia because it’s her birthday and someone didn’t get a gift and someone doesn’t like her and someone only thinks about their fish and chips and— 

Chloe tears herself away because she’s out with Sam. Sam is wondering where she’s zoned out too and she smiles. There’s a lot happening, she thinks, and she sort of wishes Sam could know. 

They’re standing in Sam’s kitchen. Chloe’s powers inform her when things start to go badly but she doesn’t know what to do. Sam’s thoughts are doing so much and jumping and jumping and it almost makes Chloe dizzy (and she can hear the people above and below them, and to the sides). Chloe holds a hand out and Sam doesn’t take it and Chloe can tell she doesn’t want to be touched right now because she says and even though she doesn’t say it and Chloe is trying to find the right words to say but it’s not helping, and—

And then Chloe is alone in Sam’s kitchen. 

The toast pops. Chloe puts jam on both slices, puts them on plates, and waits. It's a couple minutes before Sam comes back. 

“Sorry,” says Sam. 

“You don’t have to be.” 

Sam thinks about how it’s just that there’s so much and that she wishes Chloe could understand. Chloe says it’s different, but she understands things being too much. She offers Sam the toast and Sam takes it. 

They sit together, watching some TV show. Chloe wishes she knew how to help more. What’s the point of reading minds if she can’t help with this? With something that’s all mind? 

“Stop that,” says Sam, from her place on Chloe’s shoulder. 

“Stop what?”

Sam breathes out a laugh. “I can’t read minds but I know what blaming yourself feels like. Stop. It’s my fault.”

“Now you stop.” 

Another quiet laugh, and a surge of thoughts. 

_She’s so cute I can’t believe she cares so much I’m so tired I didn’t like that feels like there’s still sand in my shoes I should say thank you to Chloe I’m so worried_

“Maybe we both stop blaming ourselves,” says Chloe, and Sam nods, and they’re quiet. 

Sam is quiet. Chloe isn’t sure she knows what quiet is anymore.

They’re standing on the side of the road, next to Chloe’s house. Sam is driving. Chloe knows that Sam can drive now. She’s proud, of course she is, and not just of the driving, of Sam. Just of Sam in general. 

But she’s also sad. She also doesn’t know how this will help, but she knows why Sam is going. She is a mind-reader, after all. So Sam says she’s said goodbye to Dr. Bright already (or to Joan, she says and thinks Joan), and opens her arms for a hug. Chloe falls into it like she’d never want to be anywhere else, and Sam’s thoughts are a mirror image of hers for just a moment. 

“Good luck,” says Chloe, and Sam smiles and gets into her car. A quick thought bursts in and out of Sam’s head but it’s too quick and Chloe is too wrapped up in her own thoughts to catch all of it. 

She does catch _I’ll miss you_. 

Then Sam is gone for awhile. She calls, and Chloe feels lost, because her power doesn’t work over the phone, but also it’s nice. She finds somewhere quiet as possible when Sam calls and just listens to her voice, tuning out the background thoughts. 

They’re going out for lunch and Sam is different. A good different, Chloe thinks. A better different. The different of someone who used to be terrified behind a wheel driving for months, and it makes Chloe so happy for Sam her chest is going to burst. 

They’re out for dinner and it’s different. A good different. Sam insists on paying for the meal despite Chloe’s protests, and Chloe knows it’s useless to protest but does anyway. The waiter winks at her after the argument and Chloe hears him think something about young love and Chloe thinks maybe that should be embarrassing but it isn’t, it’s nice. It’s not exactly young love, she thinks, they’re both in their twenties, Caleb and Adam are young love, maybe it’s because the waiter is an older man, but it’s definitely just regular—

It’s just. Regular friends out for dinner with each other. 

Sam laughs and it doesn’t matter, it just matters that they’re together. 

They’re sitting in Chloe’s room and Chloe is painting Sam’s nails. Sam is thinking a lot while Chloe works. 

_That’s so pretty how does she do that I know she’s an artist but it’s so nice this is nice Does she know she sticks her tongue out when she works Does she know it makes her look cute_

Chloe smiles, moving Sam’s hand off the table onto her own and pulling it closer to her eyes. Sam’s thoughts drift, as they have been recently, and Chloe says, without looking up, “If you want to talk about Mark you can. You’re thinking about it anyway.”

“It’s fine.”

“Doesn’t seem like it. Is he okay? Are you guys okay?” A beat, and then, “Are you okay, Sam?”

“He’s...” Sam sighs, and Chloe knows, but she waits because sometimes you need to say things out loud. “He’s not fine. You know he’s not fine. How was he going to be fine? He’s trying. I hope he’s okay. I wish he would trust me.”

“Mhm.” Chloe finishes the flower on Sam’s index finger. “And how are... you know, you guys?” She smiles and glances up, putting emphasis on the last two words, but Sam’s thoughts tell a story Chloe wasn’t really expecting. 

_I don’t know I don’t know if he wants to be with me I don’t know if I want to be with him but it’s just a weird thing to talk about and I don’t know how to bring it up and I don’t want it to seem like I don’t care about him because I care so much I just don’t_

“Whoa! Breathe, Sam, it’s okay.” Chloe wraps her hand around Sam’s, putting the nail polish bottle to the side, careful not to smudge the nails she’s already done. “You should just talk to him. He could be feeling the same way.”

“I know,” says Sam, “I know, but it’s just hard, and we never really discussed— I mean I thought I might have a crush or something, and he is really handsome—”

“Dreamy,” agrees Chloe. 

“But I don’t think I want— so I don’t want to lead him on but it’s such a bad time for me to be like ‘also, your not girlfriend is going to break up with you before you even start dating’ you know?”

“I think we both know it won’t get easier if you put it off.”

Sam laughs. “Oh, I know.” She looks down at her hand in Chloe’s, thinks, _this is right and good_ , and then jerks herself away from those thoughts so fast it gives Chloe mental whiplash. “Sorry.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I’ll talk to him.” A pause, and Sam lifts her gaze to Chloe’s eyes. Chloe can’t tell who is thinking the other is gorgeous, who is thinking about how close they are. They’re very similar thoughts. “You can, uh, finish my nails now.”

“Right!” says Chloe, and picks up the nail polish container. Sam thinks a lot about the way Chloe looks, little details Chloe never thinks about herself. It’s nice, and it’s not front and centre, so Chloe isn’t even sure Sam realizes the thoughts are coming across. Sometimes it seems like other people forget. Chloe sometimes wishes she could forget.

They’re at a park. It’s a little before dusk, although the sun is going to be hidden by trees in just a few minutes. Mark is doing well, says Sam, they did talk and they’re not going to date or anything because it’s just not good for either of them really, he’s still going to stay with her when he needs a break, even though they try to go out instead of staying inside. Sam is looking for a reaction but Chloe doesn’t know what of exactly, and whatever it is it’s important in Sam’s mind, so she nods and smiles. Sam went out for coffee with Joan, and that’s alright too. Joan is okay. They’re all okay. Everyone is... moderately okay. 

Okay. A lot of things are not great right now. But Sam keeps pushing the thoughts out of her head, so Chloe offers a story of the sculpture she’s working on. Sam latches on instantly. 

So they find a park bench and Chloe talks about anything except how weird and fucked up their lives got. It lingers at the back of their conversation, but that’s okay. She repeats some joke she heard and Sam laughs, and for a second, thinks something entirely new. 

She thinks about kissing Chloe. 

And here is the thing about Chloe. There’s just a lot of thought happening, all the time, so she thinks things too. She has thought about kissing Sam, before now, but in the end she doesn’t care as long as Sam is there so it didn’t matter and she didn’t think about it. 

But Sam’s thoughts are so distinct now. They ring clear through Chloe’s head, and this one seems to make the rest of the world grow a little quieter. Not silent, but as close as she can get. 

“Sam?”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking— I mean I was, but I didn’t— we— I didn’t want to make— I mean I can’t control my thoughts but maybe you can just ignore—” Sam’s words and thoughts are so fast and they all blur together and it makes Chloe’s head spin and her stomach feels kind of light and—

“Sam!” Chloe says, and Sam inhales quickly and is quiet for just a second, just long enough for Chloe to say, “Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?” It’s just as sincere as the first. Chloe doesn’t really get flustered, at least not over stuff like this, but she wants this to be the right move. She wants to kiss Sam and she wants to be sure Sam wants to kiss her and, and...

And Sam intertwines her fingers with Chloe’s, and says, “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

They’re sitting on a park bench and Chloe’s hand is on Sam’s cheek and Sam’s lips are on Chloe’s and Chloe can hear all of Sam’s thoughts like fireworks and like blooming flowers, can feel Sam’s hand tighten around hers, her other hand going to Chloe’s waist and it feels like the sun is setting outside only to rise in her chest. Like the long awaited conclusion of a good book, the fancy “Happy Ever After” scrawl at the end of a movie before the credits. 

They’re sitting on a park bench, faces inches away from each other and laughing, and Sam presses another kiss to Chloe’s nose and Chloe kisses her cheek and they’re laughing more and when they walk out of the park, they’re holding hands. 

It doesn’t feel like it started with the park, Chloe knows. But it also didn’t start with anything else. 

Maybe it didn’t start at all. Maybe they just walked into something in progress and stumbled until they found the place they needed to be in. 

They’re sitting in Sam’s apartment again, just reading, Chloe’s legs propped up on Sam’s lap, Sam’s thoughts about the book echoing around Chloe. 

Sam smiles at some joke in her book, and Chloe thinks she was at least a little right. 

There is at least one angel whose thoughts are in her head.

**Author's Note:**

> title from [night go slow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acYpxd17eIc) by catey shaw
> 
> again i've never even heard of proofreading. proofreading whom? editing? fake.
> 
> i've been meaning to write tbs for awhile and listen,,, chloe and sam? girlfriends. trust me on this.
> 
> anyway, you can find me at [my tumblr](http://crewmanjeeter.tumblr.com), which u should totally come yell at me about tbs on, thank u for reading ilu

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] My only reaction to you (is the joy I found)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055371) by [Annapods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annapods/pseuds/Annapods)




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